It took me 30+ years to realize what I'll tell you in 10 minutes...
A2
what if I told you that the thing that
you're desperately chasing the perfect
body Fame success more money isn't
actually what you want I have spent 30
years figuring this out and I'm going to
save you Decades of time frustration and
suffering in the next 10 minutes we all
do this we all tell ourselves I'll be
happy when I'll be happy when I lose
weight I'll be happy when I get the
promotion I'll be happy when I have a
partner I'll finally be respected when
I'm successful but here's the truth I
wish I had have known earlier hi I'm
Maggie welcome to my channel so this is
embarrassing to admit but I used to want
to be famous like I really wanted it
ever since I was 12 and I had my first
role in the school play I got attention
I got accolades and I thought this is
pretty good I want this and like many
many actors it came from a deep place of
unworthiness know like a lot of kids I
felt overlooked not seen not special and
so acting gave me that moment of
attention that moment to shine it was
something that people said that I was
good at so I thought to myself in my
little child brain if I get famous then
everyone will like me then life will
work out then I'll be happy I chased
that dream for years the auditions the
rejections the small winds always
thinking the next role would be the one
that made me feel complete but here's
what I've learned I'm worthy right now
and you're worthy right now we're worthy
because we exist we've all heard the
Stories the gym carries of the world who
say that once they became famous they
felt empty and hollow inside why because
they chasing the wrong thing they
weren't actually seeking fame they were
seeking love validation and acceptance
things that they could have given
themselves all along things that I could
have given myself all along another
example from my life is that I thought
that no one would love me unless I was
thin any relationship that didn't work
out I would think it was because I
wasn't thin enough or pretty enough this
belief controlled every facet of my life
I was absolutely obsessed with it and
guess what I did get thin and I did find
love and now I'm 7 years into that
relationship with my dream partner who
was literally everything I've ever
wanted and as you do when you're in
relationships sometimes you let yourself
go a little bit and I gained some weight
and it still was an obsession in this
relationship even though I had love do
have love right now but I had this
realization what I really wanted wasn't
the perfect body or the perfect
relationship what I wanted was my own
love to feel love for myself to approve
of myself to deeply accept myself as I
am no matter what I weigh no matter what
I look like to be okay no matter what
and I could have given myself that a
long time ago as well think about it how
many times have you chased a goal
achieved the goal and then felt happy
for a minute or two
and then you're on to the next goal then
you felt that dissatisfaction that itch
that urge to achieve something else you
know I work with the elderly I'm a
podiatrist and most of my patients are
over 70 a lot of them well over 80 over
90 and I've even got some over 100 and
I've been doing this job for over 20
years and let me tell you that gives you
a whole new perspective on life I know
what it looks like to age well I know
what it looks like to age poorly and I'm
not talking about looks I'm talking
about mobility and health I have
patients in Housing Commission Flats I
have patients that are in multi-million
dollar homes overlooking the beach I've
got patients who spend all of their
money on lottery tickets and when I ask
them what are you going to do if you win
they say what do I need all that money
for I would just give it to my family so
they're spending all their pension money
all their spare money even in this cost
of living crisis on lottery tickets for
a dream that they're not even going to
enjoy because they feel too old to enjoy
life however I also have some patients
who are amazing they're so curious they
got a sparkle in their eye they're so
fun to be around they got a great sense
of humor they'll say I look in the
mirror I don't recognize that old lady
so I just keep walking you know they
never stop growing they've got purpose
whether it's gardening or traveling some
of them are doing crazy things like I
had this patient who's like 85 or
something and she jump jumped out of a
plane these patients are so inspiring
there's really something about them they
tend to be really joyful and really
content and really accepting and I think
these patients whether consciously or
unconsciously they understand something
crucial and that is we're either
evolving or devolving but we're never
staying the same if you're not growing
and learning and experiencing you are
dying you're getting smaller your world
is getting smaller you're stunted no one
is going to stay the same I had a
patient the other day who was
complaining to me about her wrinkles and
she was
92 complaining about her wrinkles
because her 7-year-old daughter-in-law
has lovely skin and she was envious of
that skin and wanting to get the $12
skin care product moisturizer that her
daughter-in-law has and I'm like you're
92 I have so many patients who will say
how old do you think I am this obsession
with what we look like externally
doesn't stop unless you choose to stop
it you want to know what true freedom
feels like it's when something that used
to scare you doesn't scare you anymore
when you can speak in front of people
without your heart racing when people
who used to bother you who maybe were
mean to you or cruel to you when their
words don't affect you anymore when you
don't care what people think when you've
had wounds and triggers that used to
just set you off when it's like like
water off a duck's back that's true
Freedom when you can look in the mirror
and see your aging face and completely
accept yourself and love yourself when
you can look at your middle-aged body
and go yes my body is changing but I
still love it when you can walk into a
party and not be thinking what will
people think of me but be thinking I'm
curious who's here who can I meet what
can I learn today that's what real
confidence looks like not the fake kind
when you're seeking validation where
you're putting photos of yourself on
Instagram to make it look like you have
a wonderful life real confidence is when
external things don't get to you anymore
where you're not walking around getting
offended taking things personally or
being triggered by people no one has
that power over you I used to
desperately want to pay off my mortgage
I still do of course I want to pay off
my mortgage but I used to think I
wouldn't feel safe until I paid off my
mortgage which is 25 years
and then someone said to me imagine
having paid off your mortgage and then
think about finances what comes up for
you and I'm like oh well I've got to pay
the rates and I've got to pay the bills
and I've got to pay the XY Z and what if
this and what if that and then it became
very clear to me that my fear was around
scarcity of there not being enough of
not being safe but I can give myself
that feeling of Safety and Security
right now by trusting that it's a
benevolent Universe trusting that things
always work out for me by reframing the
negative into the positive I'm
bastardizing this but I think Einstein
said you need to decide if this universe
is friendly or not and for a long time I
thought the universe was not friendly
but now I truly believe that she is
benevolent she is always pushing you and
helping you to grow and to give you the
things that you say that you want
however that looks like it may not be
how you think it should look but that's
what she's doing I had an experience
recently with my YouTube channel which I
really really want to grow I love it so
much I genuinely love YouTube so now's
probably a good time to ask you to like
And subscribe and maybe comment if
you're enjoying this video but yes
recently I released a video and it did
really well it's at 33,000 views which
is huge for me very very exciting it's
what I always wanted and then something
interesting happened fear began to creep
in a little bit I started to get a
little worried about the next video what
if it doesn't do so well what if it was
a one wonder what if I can't replicate
that success I had forgotten the whole
point the whole point is to grow is to
serve is to evolve it's to add value to
people through my videos it's not to go
viral of course I would love my videos
to do well but keeping it in perspective
what is the point the point is to make
videos that help touch move and inspire
people to help them lead a compassionate
life a joyful life offering the
knowledge and wisdom that I've gained
over my 48 years everyone has something
to offer everyone has life experience
there's always something to offer so the
journey is the destination a lot of
people say it's not the journey it's the
destination but a wise teacher of mine
said the journey is the destination this
is it this is it not when I get 100,000
subscribers or not when you know you're
thin or you're rich or whatever the
journey is the destination the Joy isn't
reaching the goal it's the process of
getting there it's all the little wins
and victories and struggles along the
way it's the hero's journey it's when
you're you take your first step and
you've got your backpack and then you
you travel along and there's dragons you
got to slay and then there's things you
got to overcome obstacles scary forests
old man with a crystal ball all these
things that is the hero's journey and
that is life the journey is the
destination
it's not getting to the peak of the
mountain although that is nice once
you're there then there's another
mountain and then there's another
mountain and then there's another
Mountain thank God there's another
Mountain so here's what it took me 30
years to understand you can have
everything you want right now because
everything you think you want is because
it's going to give you a feeling it's
going to give you a feeling of being
loved accepted validated enough approved
of all the things you're actually
searching for that feeling and you can
give yourself that feeling right here
right now you want to feel worthy give
yourself permission to feel worthy right
now and you're so worthy you're so
worthy you're worthy because you exist
you're an aspect of God you want to feel
safe now then choose to feel safe now
choose to believe that you live in a
safe benevolent universe that loves you
you want to feel loved now don't wait
till you meet that partner love yourself
now make the choice to love yourself now
develop a relationship with yourself
right now we're meant to grow we're
meant to evolve We're Meant To Dream Big
Dreams but not because those dreams will
make us happy it's because the process
of growing itself is what brings
fulfillment look at your own life what
are you waiting for what is the thing
that you think will make you feel
complete or whole or happy or content
and give that to yourself right now the
choice is yours are you going to wait
till someday to Feel Complete life is
not about meeting some magical
destination it's about growing until we
take our last breath it's about evolving
and trying things out and being the best
we can be you know every time we try
something new we step out of our comfort
zone new doors open new opportunities
appear it is amazing what can happen
when you get into your discomfort Zone
it really is a hero's journey I so
excited by life every year that I look
back on the last year and think oh God
that wasn't a good look oh how
embarrassing that's a good thing that
shows that I'm now in a position where I
can do better than I did then and I hope
to live that way for the rest of my life
thank you so much for watching much love
see you in the next video
